I have an issue with a co-worker.
I said or did something a couple of weeks ago that offended a man I work with every day. You may find my phrasing odd but I’m not sure exactly what it was I said. You see, I have a mouth that I usually keep a very tight reign on, especially in my workplace. Then there was this one day, an offhand comment and a smart alec reply that sort of gave me a bit of free reign around this one person. A little play on words, a quick joke when no one else is in hearing distance, it was fun. It was really fun. Then poof, nothing. At first I thought he was making his point about how dull my job would be when he moved on. But I quickly realized something was very wrong.
I’m a sensitive person, I notice things. I take things to heart. I’m constantly trying to read people, please people and today after stressing about this for the last two weeks, I tried to apologize. I was walking down a hallway and there he was, alone. I stopped and looked at him and said, “I’ve offended you, I-,” and before I could actually apologize he sort of smiled or scoffed and said, “You shouldn’t worry about it.” then practically ran down the hallway to escape me.
So, now this thing, whatever it is I did, that has bothered me for a couple of weeks, had me choking back tears the rest of the day at work. I’ve thought about it all afternoon. It took me a week to get up the nerve to approach and try to apologize, and not only did I not apologize but I’m stuck with weeks and weeks until summer vacation, in which I will have to see him every day.
And that started me thinking, this is why grown women will let a man spank them to tears.
I will admit something here, before Fifty Shades of Grey, I had no notion of BDSM. Since then I’ve done lots more reading, a little research and even written a bit of it. I’m rather fascinated by it now. I’ve often wondered if I have it in me to really play as a submissive. But I can tell you, after today, I would thank the man that could turn me over his knee, tell me what I’ve done wrong and then spank the hell out of me until I was truly sorry. Then, at least, it would be over with. There would be no need for wondering, no need to ask if we were good now, no circling a room as if we are polar opposites. There would be the hug when it was over and everyone would move on.
Do you see?