Put a fork in it, it’s finally over.
2016 reminded me of that time I hiked in the Arizona back country for five days in the same clothes then splurged on TWO rolls of quarters for one amazing hot shower. It’s the kind of stink you don’t realize you have until about a mile below the South Rim when you get a whiff of that first, freshly scrubbed day hiker, then see them give you a wider berth than the passing mule trains.
You’re welcome 2017.
My New Year celebration is a general thankfulness that I’ve survived another year and that I can’t remember most of it. It’s true. I’m not one to journal and I have kids, so I’m left with the very high highs, the lowest of the lows and that vague uneasiness that signals I’m forgetting something I’ll wish I hadn’t in the days to come.
I’m celebrating this year, well, like I always do. Sitting up with the girls as they try to stay awake till midnight. Every year, one of them burns out between 1130-1200. Last year the middle child played on pots and pans at midnight, much to the enjoyment of the crotchety old people who lived below us but should have decamped decades ago to one of those Arizona enclaves that don’t allow anyone younger than 55 inside the gates after dark. I’m thankful she hasn’t brought up the possibility of using her snare drum to celebrate tonight.
My final thoughts on 2016, I’m glad to see the hind end of you. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. No, don’t even think of texting me.
As for 2017, be warned, I’m not taking any more years like your younger brother there. I suggest you learn from this and know if you’re planning on staying in this house there will be no more shenanigans. You thought it was bad watching me taking a stand with 2016? It’s only going to get worse. You’re damn right, I don’t care how special you are! The second I realize that you are taking me for granted I’ll kick your ass so far, 2025 will be bringing it to me as her New Year Baby.
You’ve been warned.
Now, go out and have a good time, my best friend and I have plans that can only take place under cover of darkness, surrounded by fluff and cloaked in silence…